Nevermore
by Child of the Stage
Summary: Miranda's world crumbles around her as she loses the love of her life to her cousin, Christina. Will running away help? Always try scanning over the whole story, cuz I change the beggining a little sometimes.
1. Default Chapter

Dear prima [cousin],  
  
I know you probably hate my guts right now, for everything I've said to you. But I've been writing down what I feel and why I did what I did. I am now giving it to you, as a way to remember me. I won't be coming back. You probably know where and to who I am running to. He needs me more than you and the rest ever will. He is for me and me alone. I wish you well, and please give the other note to my mother, and tell her I love her and will call her when I get there.  
  
Your prima,  
Miranda  
  
  
The world seemed so big where my stories begin. I thought there was so much stuff going on. School. Guys. Friends. I thought I already had enough problems. Now as I look back, My problems seem so petty, so superficial. I guess I should've seen it coming. But no. I thought I had a chance with him. We were so close, it seemed so real, so -. Sigh You know what? I might as well tell u what the hell is going on. My name is Miranda Sanchez. I was 16 that year. Life was going fairly well. As well as a teenage girl can ever have it. It was me and my two best buds, Lizzie McGuire and David Gordon, but we all called him Gordo. Sure, there were some mishaps here and there. A rumor about a stuffed bra, a baby-sitting job gone wrong. Hell, I was still ok though. We made it through together. You might think it was hard for two girls and a guy to get along. It wasn't. Not really. Neither Lizzie nor I had a thing for Gordo. Well, not one that I told anyone about anyway, but I'll explain that later. We both said we liked Danny Kessler. In all honesty, Danny Kessler wasn't even that good looking. He was kind of stupid really. But I went along. Who did I really have on my mind? My best friend. My closest guy. Gordo. He was the world to me. He was so good looking and sweet. He cared so much for both of us. I knew I could tell him everything. But I didn't realize that he was too much of my friend to make it work. It wasn't his fault, more mine. Mostly mine. All mine. Things began to go wrong that Bright May Day. I thought it would be the best day in my life. The sunny sky was so misleading. But that's not what made the day great. My cousin Christina, my favorite cousin in the whole world, more like a sister to me than lizzie, was moving down here. She and I were the same age, and She was moving from Los Angeles. I worried whether or not she would like the small town vibe Our little Virginia City Had, but I figured it was worth a shot. She and I walked into school together, talking and laughing about what her first day would be like. She was so beautiful. Not stationary beauty like a model, but from the inside out. She was about 5'1 and little short and chubby (more in a cute way than anything), but she had gorgeous curly dark hair, deep, velvet brown eyes and a smile that lit a room. She was pretty, and one of the sweetest, most caring, and definitely the funniest person I knew. She loved to make people laugh. We walked towards my locker, and I met up with Lizzie and Gordo. "Hey guys! Meet my cousin, Christy!" I said, using her nickname. "Don't call me that!" she said to me quietly, in a good hearted sort of manner. She looked up to meet Liz and Gordo. "Hi guys! Nice to meet-" She suddenly stopped and I saw her eyes widen. I wondered what was wrong, and turned to see what she was looking at. That's when my world collapsed. Gordo. The bigger problem? He was looking at her in the same way, with a look of total awe in his eyes. She partially came back to her senses and said, in a much more quieted tone, "you." I looked at Lizzie, who I could tell was on the verge of giggling. I did not think this was funny. "N-nice to meet you too." He said, just as quiet as Christina. This was the first and only time I ever heard Gordo stutter. It made me laugh, and though I didn't want to, I did. I knew I couldn't let anyone see how I really felt. Lizzie could no longer contain it and began to giggle wildly too. It snapped the too out of their mini trances and back into the real world.  
  
  
  
I am not done, my cousin. I will send you more soon  
  
  
  
My dearest cousin,  
  
I know where you are. But, for some crazy reason, I cannot not tell the rest of the family. Instead, I will give you four things. My plea for you to come home. Though I AM royally pissed at you, the fact that your mother and father, my dear aunt and uncle, weep for you constantly, and the fact that Lizzie AND Gordo and I depressed without you here.  
Now I shall give you the fourth. My takes on what happened.  
  
  
I never had been so nervous in my life. Auditions and plays were nothing to this. It was my first day in a new school, and I wondered how I could take the new surroundings. I knew it would not be all bad though. I was with my cousin, mi prima favorita [favorite cousin], Miranda, or Randita, as the rest of the family called her. She was beautiful, smart, and sweet. I envied her, for all that she had. She led me to her locker, where she set to introduce me to her friends. I was in the middle of my intro, my shining moment with her two best buds. When my eyes landed on her guy friend, Gordo. Him. He was amazing just by sight. He had this gentle look. He had though most beautiful eyes, blue-green, like I could drown in them, and they were set in a beautiful, though masculine face. I was breathless. I fell in love already. I knew that whether or not he wanted, I was his. Our moment was snapped by Miranda and her Friend Lizzie.  
  
I await the rest of your story, prima.  
  
Christy  
  
  
Christy-  
  
Not much of a writer, are you cuz? You can do better than that. I've read your stuff. C'mon, put your all into this.  
  
Christina and Gordo's eyes both lost there glazed looked as they turned to look at us. "What?" they asked simultaneously. They looked at each other and gave shy smiles. "Hey, Miranda, uh… come over to the science room, to get our grades from… uh Mr. Pettus!" She turned and smiled at Gordo and Christina, "be right back". She grabbed my wrist and dragged me to the other hall. "What are you DOING!?" I demanded. I did NOT like leaving Christy and Gordo alone. "Hey, calm down. You can still see them," Lizzie said, motioning towards them. I turned and saw them starting to go deep into conversation. "Ya well…." "Hey, what's wrong, they make a cute couple! You don't, like, LIKE Gordo, do you?" "No, No! Of course not!" I quickly, "But, You know, I just like, don't want them alone, cuz like, ya…" I turned again, and saw them talking, each looking at each other with a caring stare. It wasn't fair. This couldn't be happening. My world was crumbling around me, all in a period of ten minutes!   
  
Escribeme Pronto. [Write me soon/ quickly]  
  
Miranda  
  
  
  
Miranda-  
  
Maybe I could write better if I weren't worried whether or not you were alive! Doesn't matter. Either keep writing, call, or come home. I just need to keep contact. To make sure you're ok. Let's see how I can do.  
  
"What?" My voiced mixed in with his deep one. I looked at him, and smiled shyly. I was happy that he smiled back. He had a great smile. It lit up a room. It lit up my heart. "Miranda, let's uh… go get out grades in… uh.. science! Be right back everyone." Lizzie said, trying to make a (desperate) attempt to get us alone. I saw her drag Miranda away from us. "So…"  
He said shyly, looking up at me. "So… What's you name? I don't think I caught it when Miranda introduced us." I said back,", trying but not succeeding in staring into his eyes. "My names David. David Gordon, but everyone calls me Gordo." "I couldn't help but laugh. "What?" He said defensively, "What's so hilarious?" "I'm sorry." I said laughing. "It's just…. In Spanish, gordo means, well it means fat in an insulting way. Not like your fat! But it's funny it's you name." He laughed along with me "So where did you move here from?" he asked. "Los Angeles" "What?!" He said amazed 'Your from LA? That is so cool! So, do you like, know a bunch of movie stars of famous directors?" I couldn't help but laugh "You sound like a star-crazy tourist! I do know some people, because I worked with them, but I'm not , like best friends with any. My parents are still there, managing some of my roles." "Wait, do you act?" "Yup. Nothing much though, just some commercials and some guest spots on TV" He was looking at me in awe. "So! What's life like in the east coast? What do u guys do around here to pass time?" He smiled. "Not much." He said with a nonchalant -tone" Usually we go swimming and I go around and film everyone. But-" "Wait." I interrupted him firmly. "Film everyone? Do you want to be a director?" "Ya! How did you guess?" "Because I do the same. When I can. Most people don't like me filming them" I turned my head slightly and saw Miranda and Lizzie taking. Miranda did NOT look happy. "I wonder what those two are talking about." I said curiously. " "Probably something about Danny Kessler falling madly in love with them" He said, shaking his head. I laughed and he looked up at me. We looked at each other for a long time.   
  
Tell me more, Prima.  
  
Christy  
  
  
~*AUTHORS NOTE*~  
I have decided to switch to 3rd person ominous (someone who isn't part of the story and knows all… like me! J )  
  
  
Suddenly, the shriek of the school bell interrupted their thoughts, and the students began to walk to their first period classes  
"Want me to walk you to your next class?" Gordo asked tentatively.  
"I'd love that" Christina said happily, reveling in the fact that things were for once going her way.  
"What do you have?"  
"That," Christina said laughing, "Would be a good question, wouldn't it?" She opened her binder and took out her schedule. Closing her binder, she handed it to Gordo.  
"Cool!" He said happily. "You have first period with me. In fact," he said as he scanned the small sheet of paper, "You have all you classes with me! Your even in Algebra and advanced English!"  
"All of my classes? Seriously?"   
"Ya. But C'mon, let's go to science."  
  
Miranda was not really paying attention during lunch. The noisy cafeteria and Lizzie's gossiping could not drown out her thought. How could this have happened? She asked herself. Why did this have to happen?  
'Hell-ooooo?!" Lizzie finally yelled.  
"What?" Miranda broke out of thought, and was so startled that she dropped her fork.  
"Well, I guess this shows how interesting you think I am." Lizzie sarcastically. 'Do I have your attention now, Miss I don't listen?  
"I'm sorry, Liz," Miranda said with a smile "I was just out of it"  
"Hey, where's your cousin?"  
"She said she meet me here. I told her where we sat."  
"Oh, there she is!" Lizzie said, pointing at the door.  
Miranda turned to see Christina and Gordo walking in, talking and laughing together. They walked into the line, and as Christina went in front of Gordo, Miranda could not help but notice the look Gordo had on his face. He had had it in First and second period. She was sure he had when he and Christina went to algebra and advanced English together. It was a look of total caring, total wanting. It was look that wanted to make her scream, throw up and cry at the same time.  
  
"Why in your right mind did you bring MONEY for lunch on the first day of school?" Gordo said teasingly. The two had become totally comfortable with each other in the past couple of hours. They were so alike, but so different at the same time. She countered his cynicism, and he countered her silliness. He had never felt so close to someone in this way, and he had never wanted anything more than her. She's so beautiful, he thought to himself. Christina turned to him, and she smiled. Gawd, he's great, Christina thought, Sweet caring funny, cute, why couldn't this have happened sooner to me? Lord knows I needed a self esteem boost. But another thought was drowning out those good ones. But could he really like me? ME? The fat ugly kid who was one of the most un-popular and un-liked girl in her old school? She hoped so. She wanted him so bad. She needed to be held. The strong side she showed the world was much different than her real self. But she knew that her real self would be un-welcomed here. Her real self was vulnerable, scared, sad and deep. It was the side that could ruin what she had finally started to get.  
  
  
~Chapter 2~  
  
"Hey guys" Christina and Gordo chimed together.  
"Hi!" Lizzie said happily  
"Hey." Miranda's un-enthusiastic answer snapped Christina out of any good mood she was in at the moment.  
"What's wrong…" Christina began, but stopped when she was the look Miranda was giving her  
~Well~ she thought ~We can play this game~ "¿Miranda, por qué estás triste?" She said, reverting her question of Miranda's sadness to Spanish.  
"Nada, Nada. Estoy cansado." Miranda said, playing it like she was just tired.  
Christina shrugged and began to stab at her meal. " I just realized, Gordo, Why you laughed when I brought money for lunch."  
"Why would you EVER bring money for lunch on the first day of school?"  
"Well," Christina said thoughtfully, "I figured it would be like my old school…"  
"Ohh… ha! Do you see how different it is NOW!?" Gordo teased.   
"Haha, very funny."  
"hey!" Lizzie interjected loudly, "anyone mind filling us in? What's so different between our school food and… where did you live?"  
"Los Angeles, California." Gordo said knowingly  
"Thanks Gordo. You know how I have problem answering ONE WORD QUESTIONS!" Christina said jokingly.  
"LA? Seriously? That's soooo cool! Anyway, what's the big difference?"  
"The food over there is real!" Gordo exclaimed, "Real Pizza from Pizza hut, actual Chinese from Panda express-"  
"GORDO!" Christina laughed, "SHUT UP AND LET ME TALK FOR ONCE!"  
"Well fine!" he said jokingly.  
Lizzie and even Miranda laughed  
"Hey, you guys didn't fill me in this morning!" Christina said, trying to make conversation, "Who's who in this school. Anyone I should watch out for?"  
"Kate." It was a simple statement, made by all three of the others.  
"Ahh yes. Kate. I've heard so much about her. Much more careful around the Internet, aren't we Lizzie?"  
They laughed. Miranda was starting to loosen up a bit.  
**Maybe they don't LIKE each other, maybe they only like each other as FRIENDS. This could work!** She thought happily.  
  
~Chapter 3~  
  
"So what do you guys wanna do this weekend?" Miranda asked Gordo and Lizzie on the phone.  
"I dunno" They both answered.  
"What does Christina wanna do?" Gordo asked thoughtfully  
Miranda laughed. This is what had been going on for the WHOLE week. To Lizzie, it was apparent that Gordo and Christina had something going, but Miranda didn't agree. She kept blinding herself by saying that they were only "going to be great friends" and that "My cousin would never do that to me." Of course, Christina didn't even know that Miranda like Gordo, but in Miranda's now twisted mind, she thought everything would be okay. "Lemme go ask her, she's in her room right now. Christina!" Miranda yelled, "El teléfono para ti!"  
"Hello?"  
"Hey Christina." Lizzie said.  
"Hey Shorty!" Gordo teased.  
"Ahh! Don't call me that! Just cuz I'm only 5 feet, and you're 5'4 doesn't necessarily make me SHORT! I'm just-"  
"-Vertically challenged. I know, I know." Gordo finished  
"Haha. Very funny. So why did you guys need me again?"  
"What do you wanna do tomorrow?" Miranda asked her.  
"Besides sleep? Oh I don't know, Sleep, rest, relax, daydream, read..."  
"DON'T YOU EVER WAKE UP?!" She yelled jokingly.   
"You tell me. You're the one who woke me up this morning by JUMPING ON ME!"  
"Hey, my mom SAID to wake you up…"  
"I don't think Tia Lourdes meant by Jumping on me!"  
There was a pause of silence on the phone line, before the kids couldn't hold it anymore and started laughing.   
"Ok, ok, how about the movies? There's that new Freddie Prinze Jr. Movie coming out!" Lizzie suggested happily  
"Ugh. A chick flick." Gordo said unhappily.  
"Hey, just because you can't handle our DROOLING over the insanely hot guys… " Miranda started teasing  
"I got it." Christina stated firmly. "Pearl Harbor. It's not to new, so it won't be crowded. It's got war and political stuff for Gordo."  
"Thank Goodness. No 'hot' chick-flick actors." Gordo interjected.  
Christina laughed. "Whatever! It's got Ben Affleck, Josh Hartnett AND Cuba Gooding Jr. I am SO there. What about you guys?"  
"Let's go"  
  
~ Chapter 4~  
  
"And now for your FEATURED PRESNTATION" The deep announcers voice came over the theater  
"This BETTER be good." Gordo whispered to Christina, who had Lizzie to her left and Gordo to her right.  
"Shhh!" She said.  
  
By the first fifteen minutes of the movie, Gordo was bored with it. It was a poor rendition of that fateful 40's day, and it was turning too much into a soap opera. He looked over at Miranda, Lizzie and Christina, who were all enthralled. "Chicks," he smiled as he muttered to himself. He stole a glance at Christina **God she's beautiful. She's so perfect. Body, looks, mind. Is this love? Could she really like me? If she gets scared, maybe I'll put my arm around her. Would war freak her out? Nah, she's always discussing the Holocaust and stuff with me. I wish she were, just a little**  
  
It was almost the end of the movie, and Christina looked like she might freak. The fighting was starting to freak her out a little. Gordo noticed this. He started to psych himself up **Ok David, you can do this. Just do it slowly, and if she doesn't look comfortable, just drawback. I'll just make it seem like I- WHAT AM I SAYING!! I can't do this. I must be crazy! A complete nutter! Why is my arm moving?! AHH! Don't do it! STOP IT!** But he couldn't stop it. He slowly, tentatively put his arm around her.  
  
  
**I wish this movie wasn't so gory** Christina thought to herself. She kept having to look away, and felt like she was going to either scream or be sick. **Arrgh. I must look like an idiot** She stole a quick glance at Gordo. **He looks so interested. So perfect.** She actually smiled She looked back at the movie. Why did Josh Hartnett have to be swimming in blood stained water? Suddenly, she noticed an arm go around her, she looked at the hand, and realized it was Gordo's. **Oh. My. GAWD.** She calmed down a little and leaned her head onto his shoulder. This caused him to calm down. She still was a little warped though. He leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Are you okay, do you wanna go outside?" She looked up into his eyes **I love his eyes. They are perfect.** She nodded, and she whispered to Lizzie and Miranda what was going on. They were to into the movie to really care, but nodded consent. Christina and Gordo walked outside and went to the fountain by the theatre. He led to her to a bench facing the fountain. He noticed she looked a little pale.  
  
" Are you sure you're okay?"  
  
She snapped out of her thought. "Ya. Ya. I'm sorry I made you miss the movie." She apologized earnestly.  
  
"That's ok. It wasn't that good anyway."  
  
She looked away and out at the fountain. He put his arm around her again, and again she put her head on his shoulder and let out a contented sigh.  
  
"The fountain looks so pretty against the night sky and the stars."  
  
"Yeah" he said **But not as pretty as you look** He brushed a lock of hair off her face and tenderly tucked it behind her ear.   
She looked up at him.   
"Thanks for coming out here with me." She said quietly "It means a lot that you'd miss the movie, just for me."  
  
"There's a lot I'd do for you." He said. He couldn't hold himself back anymore. He kissed her. She opened her eyes widely, surprised, but then realized that she was having her first kiss and began to kiss him back. This was the best single moment in both of their young lives. Fireworks shot off, the world stopped its relentless turn, and the only two people in the world were them. This kiss, this showing of caring for each other, seemed to be one of the most natural things they ever did. She slipped her hands around his head and pulled him closer. He tightened his arm around her shoulders and the began to kiss more passionately.   
  
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU GUYS ARE DOING?!"  
  
  
~ Chapter 5 ~  
  
"That was a GREAT movie!" Lizzie said, still a little pumped from watching.  
" I KNOW! Didn't Josh Hartnett look HOT in the beginning?"  
"Definitely. But who was the girl Ben was with? It should be me."  
**And I should be with Gordo. SOON I will be with Gordo. It's all a matter of time** Miranda thought. Outwardly she laughed.  
"Where did Christina and Gordo go?" Lizzie asked as they exited the theater.   
"Probably out by the fountain. She said she needed to calm down." Miranda answered.  
"Can you go get them? I have a sudden craving for a pretzel." Lizzie said, smiling as she stared at the Pretzel sign.  
Miranda laughed again. "Sure. Go have yourself a party." She began to walk to the fountain. In two minutes she was walking down the stairs. She looked up, and saw what would later would drive her to depression, near madness, and running away.  
  
It was Christina. Her cousin. Practically her sister. One of the few people in this world that she really cared for. Someone she trusted with almost everything  
  
It was Gordo. The boy she could very quickly and easily give her heart to. The one guy who she loved as more than a friend. The one that kept her awake at night and from not going postal on the whole damn world.  
  
It was both of them.  
  
Betraying her.  
  
Turning backs on her.  
  
Stabbing her.  
  
Killing her.  
  
Without even knowing it.  
  
She was in shock.  
She watched as they began to kiss more passionately. Christina and Gordo pulled each other closer, and tighter.  
She could no longer hold her emotions in.  
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU GUYS ARE DOING?!"  
They both snapped up suddenly and turned their heads towards the yell.   
"Oh Miranda, I- uh- well…" Gordo started  
"I know you guys are really close, but You know how it goes. I know he's your best friend, but he's so much more to me-" Christina started to explain.  
"YOU WHORE!"  
There was silence in the whole park. All eyes were on the three.  
"W-What?" Christina asked quietly.  
"YOU WHORE! You slut! How could you?! How could you?!" Miranda yelled, tears stinging  
"Hey wait a second," Gordo said, standing up, "don't call her that!" he said defensively.  
"Shut the fuck up!" She yelled at him. She turned to Christina. "How could you?" She asked, tears running down her face.  
"What? I- I don't get it? What did I do? Did- I- I" Christina said quietly, as she looked down, puzzled and crying. Gordo sat down and held her.  
"What the fuck is your problem?" He yelled at her.  
"Her! She betrayed me!"  
Christina stood up.  
"Que? WHAT DID I DO?! "  
  
"He was mine." Miranda growled.  
  
Another brief moment of silence. The look on Christina's face began to change from anger and puzzlement to hurt and fear  
"What?"   
" I LOVED HIM! Couldn't you see that? Are you so dense that you didn't see the way I looked at him? The way I talked to him You- you" She was almost at a lost for words. "You-," She looked up, a cruel and evil grin on her face. "You cualquiera!"  
Christina got a look of sheer hate and madness as she lunged at Miranda. Gordo caught up with her, and grabbed her around the waist.   
"STOP! Don't do it Christina!"  
"I hate you! You know what that means! Get away! Lemme go Gordo! I'm gonna kick her ass so fast she'll regret being born!"  
  
She fought for a couple of more minutes, as Gordo held her back and Miranda changed from the cruel bully she had just been to a hurt, guilty and confused girl. She began to cry harder. Christina calmed down as well, and began to sob. She turned and began to sob into Gordo's shoulder.   
"Shhh. Shh. Everything is gonna be okay. Shhh, don't cry, shhh." He rocked her back and forth. Miranda's mind cleared for a second. She looked at Gordo, who was tenderly holding his beloved. He looked up at her, and gave such a look of hatred and contempt that she ran. And ran. She didn't know where she was going.  
  
~Chapter 6~  
  
"So no one has seen her at all? Even in the past two weeks?" Gordo whispered in Christina's ear as he held her to his body.  
He felt her shake her head no.  
"And you haven't gotten anything from her?"  
She stopped for a second, and then shook her head no again.  
  
It was the first time she had actually lied to Gordo, who, since her cousin's disappearance, had grown even closer and more important to her. She had received correspondence from her cousin. A letter. A couple of letters. She and shown no one though. She even knew where she was, in a sense. It was a guy she had talked of before. He was older. MUCH older. 21 or so. A drop out in Highschool, and about three miles from here. IN the outskirts of town where the hot under 18 clubs were. That's where Miranda had met him. She had set him aside, because of her feeling for gordo, but with that gone, she was ALL his.  
  
Gordo sighed and hugged her closer to him. She heard him sniffle a little, and turned to see him begin to cry again. She felt her own eyes water up again and brought his head to her shoulder, where he began to violently sob.  
"It all my fault." He said as his tears died down a little.  
"NO it's not! How many times do I gotta beat that through your head!"  
"But if I hadn't gotten so mad-"  
"In all honesty Gordo, you had a right to get mad."  
"Speaking of which," He said as he looked up at her, " You never DID tell me what she called you."  
"Oh. Well. I - uh"  
"Just tell me. Why did you get so mad? You were about to beat her down."  
Christina sighed. "This is hard. I've never told anyone here this. This is one of the reasons I wasn't too sad I moved here."  
He grabbed her hands and squeezed them.  
"Last year, in 10th grade, a rumor began to go around that I was screwing some senior."  
Gordo's eyes opened wide.  
"What?! How could they start that?" He suddenly though timidly looked up at her. "It is a rumor?"  
She playfully smacked him on the arm in mock anger. "Of course it was! Anyway, when people found out, they began to taunt me. BAD. They called me a slut, a whore…" She trailed off. "Miranda was the only person I could turn to. The finally called me- That word Miranda Called me. It means slut and whore and all those things- except a million time meaner and crueler and uglier. It became my nickname. Everywhere I went, I heard it. The store, the mall, the movies, I heard it, whether it was yelled at me, whispered as I walked by or muttered under breaths, it was there. It haunted me. I cried for nights on end." She looked up and took a breath. Gordo's eyes held curiosity, anger, sympathy, and sadness. "She knew how much it affected me.. It eventually died down a little, but I still heard it. I even heard it the day I left to come here." Tears began to roll down her face, and her and Gordo hugged again [getting tired of the hugs? :-P]  
"I'm so sorry." He said.  
"Ya…" She began to think **I've never felt so close to anyone in my life. Maybe I should tell him about the letters. I gotta tell him about the letters**  
"Gordo?" She broke away and looked up at him  
"Yes?"  
"I- I gotta tell you something."  
Ya?"  
"I lied."  
He paused for a second.  
"About what?" He asked tentatively  
"About not hearing from Miranda."  
"WHAT?!" he stood up and exclaimed, " You've heard form her? You know where she is? And you haven't TOLD anyone?"  
"Well I -uh I don't know EXACLTY where she is. She's using a PO box… but I have an idea."  
He began to pull her up from her sitting position on the steps of his backyard. "C'mon, we're gonna go tell your aunt and uncle!"  
"NO!"  
She suddenly stopped him.  
He turned to face her in surprise. "Why not?"  
'because if her parents try to write her and find her she probably STOP SENDING ME LETTERS! Begin the AMZINGLY smart person you are Gordo, I'm sure you can figure out why this is bad."  
"Oh." He loosed his grip on her wrist. "Can I write her something?"  
"I've been wondering when you would ask."  
  
~~**Author's note**~~ ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Hey all! I just wanted to tell u guys how much I LOVE ur reviews. Ur feed back means sooooo much to me. Only two responses:  
Candy- I know I posted the same chapter twice. My bad. Too lazy to change. Thanks anyway!  
Tk- Ur prolly not coming back to read the story, but I a) rated it so you SHOULD know there was SOME cussing in it.) b) the cussing is ONLY in chapter five, and its not even THAT bad. CALM DOWN  
Sorry- going back to the original reason for the a/n:  
I'm going back to letters, just for this little Gordo Miranda change back. Will go back to old form soon!  
COTS (Child of the Stage)  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Dear Miranda,  
  
Hey Chica! What's up? It's me, your buddy(or now EX buddy) Gordo. I wanted to write you to-  
  
Screw this. I can't sound that happy right now. It's pointless. I'm not very happy at all. I can laugh and joke, but that's only cuz I know you're alive and (presumably) well. I gotta tell you, for one little munchkin (don't ya LOVE that nickname? :-P) You've caused us all a lot of grief. I bet you're wondering how I got the address. Then again, maybe you aren't. I got it from Christina. I need to talk to you, whether it's snail mail or phone. I need to tell you how much I need you back. How much I miss you. Sure, it's not love that we feel for each other, but it's a bond closer than I've ever been to anyone. You are the one person I can count on to ALWAYS be there. You're probably thinking 'what about Christina?' with that little sirk on your face. Well, while I do feel close to Christina, and I do love her (though, I've yet to tell HER that.), I worry every dya about losing her. I wonder how I could have been so lucky to have her, but every day I worry about if I make some bull-headed mistake and lose her. That would crush me. Totally break me down. Kinda like what's happened to me now. I know you're always gonna care for me. You are my closest friend. I need you. Please, if you won't come home, tell me why you can't stay here.  
  
Begging,  
Gordo  
  
  
  
Dear Gordo.  
  
Hey. Well. There really isn't any way I can keep this together in this form. The only way to tell you why is in song.  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* A/n: Hey all. Sorry to ruin the flow of this story. I know I shouldn't have to write this, But I did write this song. It is copyrighted (I have CONNECTIONS :-P) So if you steal it, Ill beat ur punk butt down! Jk, jk. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Day after day  
Week after week  
I've cried my tears for you  
The feeling I have  
I'm forced to keep  
But there's one thing I can do  
Tired of seeing you with her  
Why aren't you holdin me now  
I'm running off  
To who knows where  
Doesn't matter  
Why can't you see  
  
Chorus:  
Nevermore will I see you two  
Kissing under the stars  
Nevermore will I be trapped  
Inside these lonely bars  
Now cuz I'm breaking out  
I'm leaving home  
It's something I gotta do  
Nevermore Will I tell my self  
How much I love you  
  
There's more. I- I just can't write right now. I gotta go. Write me soon.  
  
Miranda  
  
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	2. Gordo reads the letter

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Lines of smeared ink streaked down the page as Gordo let his tears fall to the paper. He began to tremble as he began to cry harder. **What have I done?** He thought to himself out loud. **My God, what have I done? I have ruined her life.**  
  
"No, you didn't ruin her life."  
  
Gordo turned around to see Christina standing there. Her face tear streaked as she began to cry as well.  
  
"I ruined her life. I came to this town, and her took what little she had left to hang on, to keep her from going insane. I took everything she had, and gave her only grief in return." She began to sob through her words. "What have I done!?" She began to yell. "I've killed my cousin! My God, what have I done? Dios mío! Mi prima está muerta!" She crumpled to the floor like a rag doll and sobbed. Awakening from his shock, Gordo ran to her and held her. He rocked her back and forth.  
  
"Shhh. Everything will be okay." He whispered in her ear.  
  
**I can't take this anymore**  
  
A/N- I know that's short but I'm coming up with an interesting addition. Let's just say the fact Miranda is crushing his girlfriend does fall to well with Gordo…  



	3. Chapter 8

~*Chapter… uh… 8?*~  
  
Dear Miranda,  
  
Things have gone too far. It has been more than a month. I don't know what you think you're doing, but it's starting to get old. Do you think gallivanting with that drop-out slug you call a boyfriend of yours is really proving anything? Do you know what you are doing to the people who care for you most? Your parents- well, I don't know how to even describe your parents to you, except that they are crushed. They don't go anywhere. They hardly speak and they have huge dark circles under their eyes. I doubt they sleep at all. Lizzie is almost as bad. She barely talks. She cries all the time. She doesn't do her schoolwork, and her parents are worried about you. And Christina. If you care anymore, you have hurt her beyond belief. Not just with your running off, but with what you've said to her. She thinks she's ruined your life. But we both know she hasn't. You've ruined your own life. You ran off when times got hard. You didn't even bother to tell us where. The constant wondering of where you are is affecting everyone. Maybe you don't care anymore. That's what I decided. If you really cared, you would've realized what you were doing to everyone. I'm tired of caring about you. I'm tired of being the strong hold for people.  
  
I'm tired of you.  
  
Come back, or tell you're parents your dead. It would be better than what you're doing to them right now.  
  
Gordo.  
  
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Miranda read the letter over and over again. Was this really Gordo talking? Was this even true? She sat and thought about it. It must be. She couldn't believe it though. How could she have run off? Didn't she even think of what she would be doing to others? Tears began to run down her face. She was a horrible, horrible person. She was a monster, who didn't have a right to live. She walked into the bathroom of the apartment, and got a razor. She needed to get rid of the pain she felt. Quickly, she sliced two cuts into her wrist, morbidly watching the blood running down her arms. She began to sob, and lied down onto the bathroom. Waiting to die.  
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A/N- well…? What did u guys think? Is Miranda gonna die? Or will someone save her? Review, and tell me what you think should happen, or just what you think.  
Child of the Stage  



	4. Chapter 9

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a/n- well here it is… THE NEXT CHAPTER! Woohoo! Par-tay! Anyway, I just wanted to let u know something that I added to the beginning of the story but will say again down here. Gordo Lizzie and the rest of them are about 16 or 17. I think I say 17, but u know what I mean. I had to change it because I don't think 7th and 8th graders would have these feelings. If u still visualize them as younger, and changing that idea would be too hard, then go ahead and do so, and if gordo drives just pretend his mom drove him instead. And her [Miranda's] drop out bf is now 20 or something like that, which isn't really MUCH older… but ya… if something doesn't make sense cuz of the age change, then you guys tell me. Thanks!  
COTS  
PS_ the song in this chapter is PARTIALLY mine and PARTIALLY Disney's it appears in So Weird in the episode Changeling. Jack sings it to the…. thing. I've added some verses and such. Also, since I haven't put this before, and since this is late, I don't own any characters except the drop out bf and Christina.  
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~*Chapter 9*~  
  
Gordo and Christina were both asleep (AND with clothes ON, as they've BEEN the WHOLE time, mind you) on the bed in Gordo's room. It had been quite a night, and both needed some rest after the past couple of nerve-fraying weeks. Gordo woke up suddenly, and wondered where he was. He looked around, his eyes adjusting to the dark. He heard a little whimper come from somewhere, and looked next to him. The sight of the sleeping girl laying next to him acted as a stimulant for his mind. *That's right. I'm in my room. With the girl I love, and we're here holding one another and-*  
His mind suddenly stopped thinking for a second as another realization hit him again.  
*and Miranda, who for what she has done to us shouldn't be allowed in this perfect scene, is still missing*  
He heaved a deep sigh. No matter how hard he pushed, that though kept pushing into the front and center of his brain. Christina whimpered again, and he looked down and saw a frightened look on her face.  
*she must be having a bad dream* he thought to himself, as he kissed the top of her head and held her more tightly. He wondered what he should do to calm her down, as she was now beginning to shake. He didn't want to wake her up though, he knew she needed the sleep. He began to sing the first lullaby that came to his mind:  
  
Close your eyes  
And I'll show you how to fly  
Catch a cloud and take it for a ride  
In your dreams you can be anyone  
You ever want to be  
Close your eyes  
Dream with me  
  
Close your eyes  
And I'll take you to a place you've never been  
Where the dreams become reality  
And the nothing's held within  
In your dreams you can be anything  
You ever want to be  
Close your eyes  
Dream with me  
  
Don't worry what's going on outside  
Of this secret land  
Just forget your troubles  
Stop the thoughts  
And hold on to my hand  
Close your eyes   
and I'll show you how to fly  
Catch a cloud  
And take it for a ride  
In your dreams you can be anything  
You ever want to be  
Close your eyes  
Dream with me  
  
Close your eyes   
and I'll show you how to fly  
Catch a cloud  
And take it for a ride  
In your dreams you can be anything  
You ever want to be  
Close your eyes  
Dream with me  
In your dreams you can be anyone  
You ever want to be  
Close your eyes  
Dream with me  
Close your eyes  
And Dream with me  
  
As he finished the last line of the songs, he felt Christina let out a deep sigh and go into a deeper sleep. *Well, I guess I've done something right*   
The phone on his nightstand began to ring. *Damnit. Never a quiet moment. What's so important at…* he looked at his watch *At four o'clock in the morning?*  
He picked up the phone.  
"Hello?" he whispered groggily.   
To anyone who might've been watching, the quick change of expressions of Gordo's face from happiness to fear might've been amusing. But to anyone who knew, it was far from.  
"I'll be right there." He said quickly. He Hung up the phone, and began to wake Christina up. "Christina. Sweetie wake up." He said.   
"What is it?" She asked groggily.  
"They found Miranda"  
That definitely woke her up. "Oh mi God! Where is she?" she exclaimed happily.  
"Shh. Shh. Calm down." He said, a worried look on his face.  
"Gordo, what is it? What's wrong?"  
"Miranda- Miranda tried to kill herself." He said, his voice shaking. "She lost so much blood. They're not sure if she'll live."  
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A/N- mwhaha. Yes, I know. I didn't tell you whether or not she lives yet. I'm not sure which way to go. But when it comes, it'll come. How long should I wait? Should I leave you all in angst and anxiety? Jk, jk. I'm working on it, all. I might end up writing two endings. Give me ur feed back.  
COTS  
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